Oh Finn
by Kitara Lira
Summary: Finn just doesn't get it. One-shot; with a dash of Faberry!


_Oh Finn_

_K.L.  
_

**Disclaimer:** Characters are not owned by myself.

* * *

Finn Just Doesn't Get It

Rachel wouldn't kiss him; wouldn't date him. And it was more than puzzling. The past year the brunette had been making advances on him but then the summer came and went, and school resumed. And now that he had decided he was ready to date Rachel – the brunette just didn't seem interested.

He had asked around – even daring to ask that creepy fro guy who always seemed to be following her – but the answer was always the same. Rachel didn't have a boyfriend. So what was holding her back from accepting his offer? The club was adamant that it was because she had a girlfriend, but what did having a girlfriend have anything to do with this? Girl's had girlfriends all the time right? I mean Kurt and Mercedes were living proof of this – they were girlfriends but that didn't mean that Mercedes stopped kissing men.

Maybe she was just doing that hard to get thing – he had heard that girls did that sometimes.

So he waited until lunch.

However, the answers at lunch were not any different.

"Why not guys? Come on you've got to help me, I mean is she dating someone?" Across the cafeteria the quarterback caught sight of his _woman_ throwing her his best smile to which she returned. Then Quinn walked up to her side, pressing a soft kiss to her lips, causing him to blush and turn his gaze back to the table before him, "I'm serious guys who is she dating?"

As the day progressed Finn found himself growing more and more confused.

"Is it Puck? I mean last weekend when we were playing truth and dare you guys kissed and he's always had a thing for you 'cause you're Jewish… I think."

The diva in question didn't seem terribly impressed, "Finn we already discussed this – it was a dare. And for crying out loud Noah is gay!"

"You don't have to yell and I mean yeah Puck can be happy too Rach… but what does that have anything to do with this? You're not making any sense!"

Needless to say the brunette ignored him. Honestly what was it with people today? Did everyone take a touchy pill? He just wanted to know why Rachel didn't want to date him – he was after all one of the most popular guys in the entire school. He was star Quarterback, male lead of Glee, and… yeah. So why didn't she want him?

Glee was Finn's last chance.

"Rachel I just don't get it, what am I missing?" He raised his fingers, ticking off each piece of information, "You're not dating any guys, you're not dating Puck… you know sometimes I wonder if he's really a guy…"

"Finn! I'm homosexual! Like Kurt!"

"… You dress funny? Rach I already knew that but I'm willing to work through this together with you – you know I'll never stop caring for you just because you wear really creepy sweaters."

"I knew I smelt stupid the first moment I met you Hudson," Santana smacked him across the back of the head, "Get it through your pea brain, she doesn't like man parts."

Brittany jumped up and down happily, "Rachel totally likes the boobies."

"The boobies?" Finn found his eyes drifting from Brittany to Rachel, "But I have boobies too!"

"God help him he's in denial."

"S, why is Finn touching himself?"

Draping an arm over the tall boy's shoulder, Puck smirked, "Dude, Rachel likes Q's boobs and I agree the girl's got a good set."

"Well yeah, Quinn has nice boobs I mean I've seen them I know! But I still don't understand how Quinn's boobs have anything to do with me wanting to date Rachel!"

"Look man, we all love you – platonically from me of course 'cause you're just not my kind of dude – but sometimes your too dense you know? Rachel likes Quinn's boobies, she doesn't like man boobies – just good ol' Saintly Quinn's." Seeing the confused look in his friend's eyes grow, Puck tried a new approach, "Look basically Rachel has to think mailman every time she sees Q's boobs. Get it?"

"Rachel… under went a traumatizing event as a child and now she must think of it whenever she sees Quinn's boobies… Why?"

"God you really are stupid Finnocence. Watch and learn."

The club went silent as Quinn pulled Rachel in for a searing kiss – it was nothing short of soft porn before them.

When the two parted the only sound within the room was of the two panting girls and Finn chanting _mailman_ before passing out.

Needless to say when Finn came to he still didn't quite get why Rachel wouldn't date him.


End file.
